This father's day made me remember my father more than usual, he died in 1980 but he certainly is always a background thought of my life..........
He was born on the 4th of Nov, I was born on the 6th, my mother used to ask aloud daily what did she do to deserve 2 miserable people like us in her life. She couldn`t do without us though...
I was an adoption and he would tell me in later years how he wanted no children in his life as my mother and himself were childless for 16 years before I came into their lives and he liked it just fine but when mommy decided I was her new toy to dress and look after and carry everywhere with her she brought me home and I wore him down. He said he would be eating his dinner and I would crawl under the table up into his lap and my tiny hands would be in his food....
One thing I have always known for sure without him saying it is how much he loved me I always felt he would give his life for me and when I got cancer he used to wonder aloud how could I at my age get it and not him.......he refused to even call the word.
He used to own a factory that made furniture and the workers used to say to me 'Miss Pat you need to tell your father not to curse so much, it not good for his heart'.
He could cuss you under the table he also drank scotch and water and chain smoked cigarettes. He had a larger than life personality - CR Jenkins - one of a kind. When he was told that his habits were unhealthy he answered that if he had to give them up to live he would rather die. Well die he did from an embolism, and I guess if you can choose a way to die that's a great way, as it's instant, by the time he said he was feeling ill he was dead and he had been fine up to then, but what it does to the family I cannot even now come to terms with 29 years later.......sudden death - easy for the dead, hard for the family........and he was in his bed........Can you imagine the ones that die by accident or by some form of violence ? I cannot come to terms with that. I look on the faces at funerals and shudder.
My Mother died quietly but with warning and it was so much easier to deal with, so those of you that are lucky to say good bye, give thanks and make use of it!
1 comment:
I like you, thought of my Dad on Father's Day. He could be so cranky at times, but I never had any doubt in my mind that I was loved, even though he never really verbalized it.
My parents have died 20+ years, and I still feel the warmth and security of their love.
If that is the only legacy I leave my children and grand child, I will be happy.
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