end of life

I haven't blogged since November 2015 but recent developments have rested heavy on my mind so I have to release my spirit.
As most of you know I have lived with death for the past 40 years ever since my first bout with cancer when I was given two weeks to live. One never knows if this pain is the final pain, this diagnosis the final one every lump every nauseous moment makes my heart leap - is this it? And it's not that I'm not ready I've been ready from the start because I learnt early in life fear is false evidence appearing real so I push on giving it all to the Father because I've lived - I chose a path that gave me life instead of pain but how many people unknowingly choose pain and die before they actually leave this earth? How can we fight to stay alive if it's hospital stays, needles, hourly tests and retests, feeding tubes - pain, pain, pain and the relief of pain being morphine , one of the oxycodones - all are addictive and all turn us into zombies. “Nothing is really worth worrying about. Nothing is really worth getting angry or hurt or bitter about. Positively nothing is worth losing your peace of mind over
Why would I want to live like that? Isn't quality of life more important than quantity ?
And when you've worked hard all your life and never took the time to enjoy your earnings shouldn't you on your diagnosis start living instead of immediately choosing death? what's the point of dying without enjoying our money why should we leave it to other people ?
I've always believed that our health begins and ends in our minds some find it as a way to finally get attention from friends and family some choose to lean heavily on them but bottom line is who actually makes the final choice shouldn't it be you? why should your children and your husband /wife who are going to benefit from your demise call the shots?
I'm asking all of us to reflect this weekend on our final choice before we can't choose anymore.
Make sure your end is like how you have lived and surround yourself with those who know your final choices and are caring people not all children are caring - my son comes with each surgery and sleeps in the room whether in a chair or on the floor sometimes the nurses are sorry for him and offer a cot and he empties my drains no matter how yucky the job is,the other son became a raw food chef because he felt it would help me live and fixed food for me everyday, some children prefer to just pay your bills because they can't take illness and a few let's face it honestly don't care. So whatever your case right now before that diagnosis comes choose to live because for sure we are all going to die. Enjoy your life , make that trip you have always wanted to take don't sit and fret about cancer remember changing your life style immediately buys you time and lifestyle doesn't mean only food it means things like your detergent, your bathing soaps, your lotions ,shampoos - do your research learn about parabens and sulphates know what aspartame is.
Money alone doesn't help illness in fact having too much money sometimes let us make the wrong choices - when we have none we HAVE to make the simple choices because simple choices bring joy and we all need to die with our hearts and heads at peace knowing that that moment when we exit into the unknown our hearts are filled with expectation and joy not excruciating pain!

Thankful for life

One of the things I really like about the USA is Thanksgiving Day - not the sales or the gluttony but taking time out to reflect on just how much we have to give thanks for.
To all the complainers out there who live in this fabulous country , Jamaica -try giving instead of complaining - if we give love instead of hate what a country we would have - if we took the time to help instead of dragging down – wouldn’t all our people be better off?
I heard two Americans cussing Obama for not sending ground troops to fight Isis - would they want their children included in one of those troops? Isn't it great for the USA to have a President that is not an alarmist like the one before him that got rid of Saddam and caused Isis?
I give thanks everyday for Life - didn't have to be here but I am and in good shape- well loved and happy- I could run/walk this morning- I can eat I can drink no one brought a bedpan for me or came to give me a sponge bath- I have a job and staff that care for me and great friends.
When I look back at the past 37 years I say look at all I would have missed if I didn't realize early that we are all going to die but illness begins and ends in our minds so I should enjoy life .....I would have missed my real and adopted children coming into their own and being successful and teaching me so much. I would have missed my 2 gorgeous grandchildren - what a miss out that would have been!
I would have missed Jamaica taking over the track and field world - Asafa leading the way for Usain to break records and ShellyAnne showing the world what a short island girl can do.
I would have missed a highway that takes me 9 mins from Moneague to Linstead.
I would have missed my church UCT, my minister Rev Sheila McKeithen and the fabulous singers that make any Sunday morning that I am able to attend the greatest time spent listening to God’s gift of music.
I would have missed iPhone6s+ in other words I would have missed all the technology that came after I was given 2 weeks to live in 1978. I would also have missed the great friends I now have in my life like the one that loaned me a phone when mine dropped and the face broke - do we remember to give thanks for things like that?
So on this Thanksgiving Day and every day that I'm still around – for things big and small - thank you God!

Drive thrus killing more than drive bys

I'm truly shocked and devastated about the death of my friend Lorna Bess. It positively floored me and yes I knew she smoked and yes I knew she drank and yes I knew she had diabetes but being no longer able to hear her voice on the other end of my phone always asking for Sajato as we catch up with each other simply makes me want to howl and not stop howling. Her spirit was larger than life as was her love for all things and people Merritone. Couldn't understand why I couldn't hear from her, and people let me tell you all some thing this is my view and my view alone I would have preferred Lorna to die here with all of us loving her up- sometimes we just have to choose quality of life instead of quantity..I remember Cindy Breakspare saying in an interview that in her humble opinion she wished Bob had come home to Jamaica and played ball with his friends and enjoyed what was left of his life instead of being sent to Germany where he hated the cold and didn't have his combolos around him..... I truly believe that.RIP Lorna.

It makes me want to start having some prevent not repent seminars and I'm going to start having them soon as we are being bombarded from all sides. Those fires in the St. Andrew hills that been burning and leaving soot all over far and wide -just like when we had the fires at the Riverton dump - we still don't know the fall out from that yet - then there is the haze that has covered Jamaica that they say comes from the Sahara desert. Also this news just in -Curacao has a new strain of Chickv ....then the food...all of you that chew gum hope you know that it's filled with aspartame - how many of you know what that is??? It's everywhere people, every where, and the only solution is to build our immune systems. God put us in a country that turmeric and guinea hen grows wild, Moringa trees are all over Jamaica cinnamon and grapefruit not high blood pressure tablets is what keeps those of us under stress from suffering from hypertension I've seen it work so many times but no we prefer to take the tablets because the Dr. gave us. Do our men not realize what these tablets are doing to them? I was talking to a cancer patient this morning who when I suggested she use nature's chemo to relax her and make her sleep, said 'yes,I have a sour sop tree so leaves and bark no problem'. We have ganja other wise called hemp, marijuana whatever you want to call it - don't smoke it drink it, eat it, its uses are numerous we have so much and we have Dr Henry Lowe that is doing so much work on its various medicinal uses but how many of us listening to him? Instead we're into American fruit and veg that can't spoil, we buy only packaged food, we send our children to school with a hot dog, a pack of cheese trix and a box juice then we worry when they have asthma and eczema, we are killing ourselves ! Surprisingly I'm the best example of this - for some time now I decided that since I'm getting older I'm not going to die eating and drinking green so I started eating whatever I wanted and lots of meat as I'm a carnivore lover (never met a steak or pork chop I didn't love) but nowadays these animals are all grain fed - no grass fed cows seem to exist any more, so apart from sugar (I don't play with sugar) my diet had again become SAD (the Standard American Diet).... well I don't feel the same any more -that energy I had when I was green I no longer have it and as I told you I got a cold in December that lasted a month scared the hell out of me so I'm now back to my eating to live and not living to eat, I'm green again...we are all going to die but heart disease, stroke, cancer is no way to go we are not to die above ground years before we die and are placed in the ground. We need to get ourselves spiritually sound - you feel the energy around us??? Its not good - don't make sense God give us life and we can't enjoy it.

To the woman that wrote that letter about the 5k walks upsetting her as they are happening too often and hampering her church going .mam they are held all over the place and some are on Saturdays and some in the night,if you are leaving your house between 6am and 8am and it's a Sunday and you need to go to church at 7am or 7:30am - get out early if we're blocking your gate, if not look at it this way we're doing God's work - we're working on our health and helping people while doing so, so come and have your church with us,what the Bible say about church being in your heart, or where 2 or more are gathered together?

My take on things

I was trying not to say anything about the recent Diner En Blanc held in Kingston at Emancipation Park as I think enough have been said for and against, but no one has mentioned that this event caused much money to be generated for hairdressers,nail techs,boutiques, food emporiums,labourers setting up, truckers, gas stations,the park getting entrance fees - whatever we personally feel that's a fact !!!! Plus I'm all for beauty and people having a good time as life’s too short but as Colin Young said in his commentary on the affair, jumping on En Blanc is ridiculous as that's not the problem in this country - it's a symptom of a deeper problem. We have all sat and watched successive Governments take the country down this road of economic turmoil and poverty and we have said nothing except to each other, how many of us have given ourselves up for higher office? Our prisons are full of young men and women who traffic drugs for a better life - young women who sleep with gangsters for “pound” hair and bleaching cream. People we get the government we deserve, we have Political parties that give a man $5000 to go to a political rally, they give them a Tshirt and a box of fried chicken instead of giving the man $5000 worth of seeds to plant. Also why not fund programmes to teach these young people how to legitimately make money from weed? All they do is rub out their palms and blow smoke when this plant can help relieve so many illnesses . I was in Kingston for the Kingston City Run and so experienced the effects of the fire at the Riverton city dump.Tearing down the CEO of the National Solid Waste Authority doesn't help as we all know the lady is not qualified for the job but she is trying her best which we all know is not good enough but her friend needs to be taken to task for that. Too much 'fren and fren'thing going on,but we also know that she has not been provided with enough money to do what has to be done as the country has to pass IMF tests so garbage collection and dump maintenance has to be sacrificed . My problem is coming back to MoBay and hearing our own garbage dump is also on fire this tells me something is not right – it seems as if arson is really at work and could it be now that Jamaica’s economy is about to turn the corner and we can see the light at the end of the tunnel the usual saboteurs come out to play???? Cause make no joke I do see Jamaica doing well - our hotels are full whether Spanish or English - dem full.... Minister of Education Ronnie Thwaites is trying with education and people like Dr .Renee Rattray and others too numerous to mention are doing their work to raise educational standards and the improved performance of students at all levels is there as evidence that these efforts are paying off. Many corporate entities are also stepping up to the plate with events like the immensely popular 5k and 10k walks in Kingston that collect at least $1000 from each participant resulting in them collecting sums up to $26m for hospitals and the like,also 'farm up' Jamaica showing us how to have healthy organic farms and get rid of damaging pesticides like "roundup" thanks Neil Curtis . Lots of great things are happening in the country - we have always had great doctors- I can vouch for that plus great musicians look on Chronixx he's giving 3 hour concerts chatting nuff sense with the tightest band around backing him and all ages listening. Look at our athletes look what's happening from our prep and primary schools up - the running, jumping, throwing then there is Schools Challenge quiz on TVJ - how many countries have these things ??? How many countries can you go from one parish to the other and find exotic fruits - in St. Catherine you can get your bag of jackfruit and star apple - continue to St. ann and there is your Otaheite apples then reach Trelawny and there is your guinep and there are different fruits available year round depending on the season – a blessed country. I'm not giving this up so I will scold your children when I see them going wrong- I will take my money and help young people go to school and yes I will pick up the garbage where you throw it and beg for us to start recycling.... it's all up to us people - Jamaica, land we love, needs us! Just heard Jenifer Edwards contract has not been renewed.See folks it works if we work it, we don't blame, we demand!

Thoughts of priorities and death

So I'm driving in MoBay today and looking at the corridor from the airport to the conference centre noticing the street lights that are going up and wondering why we have our priorities so very wrong? I see very well when driving on that highway at nights now and I'm sure everybody else does too - one woman when I voiced my thoughts said , "Pat I have night blindness and live in Ironshore and see very well driving home at night " - well suppose we took those millions that's being used to put up these lights and gave it to the hospitals instead - starting with the Cornwall Regional Hospital since it is in St.James that the street lights are being put up - isn't our health much more important than lights to look good for tourists - just asking? Then I've also been reflecting on the Sigma run/walk That I took part in this past Sunday - didn't the organizers know that after the crowd they pulled last year,this year, they should have staggered the starts? I'm a mere walker and the runners took so long to start that when they set off the walkers my feet couldn't move it took about 5 mins for me to hit my stride. Come on Frano show them how it's done - last year I couldn't even enter the park the gate was too narrow for all the people trying to go in - this year I went straight to my car - Mr Byles start and end at The National Stadium next year please. I got a lot of calls regarding the lady who died while participating in the Sigma run some wanted to make sure it wasn't me and was relieved to hear me answer my phone - the rest of these callers (non-exercisers) wanting to show me that the lady exercised and still died - until we know her cause of death - I'll just say it's not quantity of life that truly matters it's quality of life I'm advocating for. She obviously lived a full and fabulous life - all her friends and family have spoken so highly of her energy so she went out doing what she loved - remember while we are in life we are in death so while we keep ourself spiritually tuned remember when you don't excercise and eat right your quality of life is not so hot - the big belly men and the ladies under-breast meat bigger than their breasts and all the complaints about acid reflux, diabetes, hypertension and on and on..... So it's not that we are not all going to die it's just that we are able to do more and enjoy life more and look better while waiting to go:) RIP Alicia Prince

Musings on health

My CFO calls it a curse I call it an epidemic but can someone tell me why since 1 Jan 2015, 3 people I know have been floored by high blood pressure? one hospitalized with low blood pressure one with diabetes, 4 diagnosed with cancer , 4 dead from cancer, 2 on the way out meaning the call can come anytime from cancer and one with an autoimmune disease that's giving her a rough time she can't function.
I don't know about anybody else but to have 4 people that you know die in a month is no joke normally you would have 4 people you know die in a year  - young and old they are dying or very ill. I have had a cold/ virus from the 28th of Dec. This morning is the best I've felt and today is the 28th of Jan one entire month of feeling awful and my head full of mucus, this happened even after I relented and took a round of antibiotics which is a big No No  for me .
How could I forget my bosom buddy had muscle inflammation around her sternum and my 33 year old nephew-in-law had heart surgery where he nearly died on the table started bleeding from his heart valve saturating his liver.
This is a scary time and please let no one tell me God is coming for his world as I firmly believe that people believe this that's why we are destroying the world, but I have news for you we are going to have to live  in this world that we are destroying and many of us not going to enjoy living in it.
ChikV I've been reliably informed is killing a lot of people whose bodies have been compromised eg if you had leukemia and it was in remission it brings it back with a vengeance that usually kills . I also hear that if you had a broken leg or arm you have pain for months I hear it might last for years  but it hasn't been raging that long here for us to find that out yet.
So how did ChikV come about ? How did Ebola come about ? And why are we pushing flu vaccines that they are saying this year might not work because the vaccine and the flu are two different strains?why are people with stage one cancer having chemo and radiation? Why are people with high blood pressure eating mackerel run down? Isn't this 2015 don't we know that we mustn't eat salt if we have  high blood pressure? I've been hearing that from I'm a child so how can we not know the mackerel we buy is called salt mackerel for a reason and even if it tastes fresh after it is cooked it's been cured so salt is cured in it!!!!
I'm really confused don't we know that cinnamon and grapefruit lowers pressure? Can we not help ourselves more?
Those of us who try to help ourselves and not eating processed food or radiated foreign fruit we hear the local fruit and vegetables have been sprayed with 'roundup' so we have to eat things like pineapple and papaya which can be peeled and eat our local apples which I'm hoping are so high on the trees nobody sprays them. We also have to drink coconut water and then what do we do with vegetables? Same thing soak and peel....oh Lord what a life !
We are in a war only thing instead of using guns to kill us there are using other ways just as deadly!

Health is our wealth

On the morning of 23rd Dec 2014 I woke up and realized that I'm taking this being alone thing a little too far. I have a son and 2 grandchildren who love me and my son and I have been 'doing' Christmas by ourselves ever since his divorce but I felt that New York , where he lives, was going to be extra cold this year so I had decided to stay in Jamaica . Well his on and off girlfriend, whom I love dearly, had made plans to spend Christmas with him so on the spur of the moment I decided - let me see if I can get on her flight - have credit card will travel so off I went to a fabulous Christmas with both of them with me as the third wheel.....fun can't done!!!

 

New York city acquiesced and gave me 61 degree weather and it couldn't have been any better .

Back I came the Saturday complete with a flu to end all flus  could it be too much enjoyment of 61 degree weather I don't know but I brought in the New Year with a doozy of a cold. First time in years  i had to succumb to antibiotics and it took so long to work too.... they finally telling us that the flu shots this year might not work as this flu is a different strain....scary scary world! 

Lots of decisions this year. Lots of coming into what the Lord has saved me for all these years. They say you don't make changes if you're comfortable so this year I see uncomfortableness coming on my work scene so I will make a move.
Read recently that it was discovered last year that children in Jamaica are having more cancer than ever before  especially brain cancer.Can we look seriously on what we are feeding our children for 2015? We overdose them with sugar then when we get the diagnosis we freak!!!! Also this heavy diet of processed foods is a no, no - people please ease the children out of all the unhealthy things we're giving them to eat - someone told me last week their 8 year old sister doesn't eat vegetables and this morning Neville told us on TVJ he doesn't drink water - that is so wrong and please, please, please remember foreign fruits are radiated to come in the country so soak, soak, soak - local vegetables come from farms that we don't know what herbicides and pesticides are being used so we're really between the devil and the deep blue sea but we have to realize that eating organic is still cheaper than paying J$300,000 for a round of chemo or J$1.8m for radiation.
For  2015 we don't need to be sitting on chairs because there are no beds in the hospitals because we're having strokes because of  blood pressure issues -have u looked around you and seen how many men have high blood pressure and diabetes? PLEASE throw away those high blood pressure tablets and drink cinnamon tea and  grapefruit juice,take vitamin C, do all the 5k walks and stop the woe is me-Remember our brain is the controlling factor.what we believe we will achieve.
We need to remember our health is our wealth ! May 2015 be our wealthiest year yet.