Chemo Fog don`t I know it well......for the past 3 years I thought I was an idiot because although I kept telling my friends and husband that I have chemo brain I don`t think he or my friends understood what I was going through ...Thank God for this article from the NY Times The Fog That Follows Chemo.......it's been 3 years and I still have problems remembering and there are some days when everything feels as if it's in a thick dark fog .....I just can`t remember the name of my best friend some days much less the name of a cologne, trying to retrieve a word always feels as if it's at the tip of my tongue and I get so frustrated,I just leave it alone .....me who everyone used to call to get phone numbers that I stored in my head.....now I have to be calling others or writing it down. Even then I forget where I wrote it.
Trust me this did not come with age.....most of my friends my age try to tell me,'Pat it's menopause' NO....just like how the day I turned 40 I could no longer read without glasses, the first round of chemo had me in a dense fog, it made me feel stupid and old.........I feel it is something that will never come back, I feel that the chemo burnt brain cells are lost forever. Nothing temporary about it... and at no time was I, as they said in the article, anxious and depressed, although maybe I WAS anxious as I knew I didn`t want to do chemotherapy, but was succumbing to pressure or to be kind.....ADVICE.
I look on with amazement as people tell me they are on their 4th round of chemo or been on chemo on and off for the past 3 years ...WOW! much props to you guys......my head must be light as I only had 2 rounds, one round with tablets and one round intravenously, it not only gave me chemo brain which I still battle - and it shows no signs of letting up - as an added plus I got pseudomembrane disease, usually diagnosed by an autopsy!
8 comments:
Pat, while I agree with your after-effects of chemo, it would be hard pressed to separate the reaction of chemo on your brain versus all the other stresses we are experiencing from Age; hormone-levels and just plain overstimulation.
At one time I used to memorize phone numbers, manage my daily tasks with minimal effort.
Now at 57 years old, I write a list to remind me to follow the items on my other list; I cannot remember my childrens' names, I often call my grand daughter by her mother's name; I have to recheck my e-mails multiple times before hitting the Send button, as
sometimes I have left out chunks of information for it to make sense. I now focus on only memorizing my own phone numbers, all others I can find in my contact list on my phone. I no longer let all this bother me...
I have been reading your blogs and you are pretty sharp.. chemo fog or not.
Good blog.
good blog good work
I am a nurse, and I had never heard of "Chemo Fog". Or in fact the weight gain that also came with chemo, or the cataracts, or the thyroid gland stopping working!!
My very worst "side effect" though, was my husband leaving me, - between chemo and radiotherapy.
My oncologist says it isn't uncommon. Although I cannot imagine a women leaving her husband in the same circumstances.
The stress of everything has made my "fog" worse. It drives me crazy, I forget words, names, I go upstairs many times a day, but by the time I get there, I have no idea why I am there. I go into shops and look an idiot as I have no idea what I went in to buy. Sometimes I look at the object I want, - and I still cannot come up with the name for it.
I totally forget what people tell me, and I have become "that person", the one who repeats themselves repetatively!! Sometimes I just have to laugh, or I really would cry.
I am unable to work, I wouldn't trust myself, even if I had the energy or stamina. This causes more friction with my now ex-husband over the financial support he has to give me, which of cause causes me more stress, which I am sure in turn causes my fog to become ever more dense!
My only advice I could attempt to give, is to try and find some kind of humor in it, at least it is a recognised side effect now, and maybe one day clarity will reappear!!
I agree with a lot of what has been written. I was 33 when I had chemo, which was 14 yrs ago. I suffered badly during treatment with memory loss, its like the answer is just out of view. You know its there but cant quite access it. It seemed to improve for a few years but is back with avengence. My husband is the one who noticed how much I have changed as I was always as sharp as a tack now that is not the case. I too get told its the menopause but I was put into early meopause with the chemo and it really annoys me because I cannot get people to understand it is not just ordinary forgetfulness. It feels very different. I know life is busy but I have always led a busy life so I do not accept it is the cause. I stumbled across chemo fog one day on the net when my husband had been speaking with a colleague and she said she had problems with memory after chemo. It was nice to know its not just me. But it would be nice if other people realised it existed. The worse bit was I thought I had the onset of Alzheimers, but I now dont think that.
I had my first chemo treatment 21 years ago. Chemo Brain/Fog was unheard of at that time. I have been through intravenous aggressive chemo 3 times 1991, 2003, 2005. In 2005/2006 I was diagnosed and treated for chemo brain. Today, 2011 I am still taking memory prescriptions high potency vitamins. This helps a little.
I was 28 years old when I had my 1st chemo breast cancer treatment. The tumor had been there for 2+ years according to its size.
Today, I am 48...pressing to 49 on March 11th. 3 surgeries, 3 chemos, 2 radiations later, I am still with major symptons.
2009 I had blood clots in both lower lubes of my lungs. Once those were dissolved(??? I guess), the doctors discovered a lung tumor which was cancer.
9/2009 Lung Cancer Radiation very aggressive with interval follow up.
9/2010 final check...a fluid subtance in the area where the tumor appeared.
12/2010 fluid subtance enlarged from pea-size to nickle-size.
2/2011 scheduled for a lung biopsy.
Fiance left me. No friends understand me. Alone and scared. No family support. Financial difficulties. Disabled Retirement equals 2/3 cut in monthly income. Still have the monthly expenses. No One understands. No financial support. All of my 20+ years of working savings & 40+ years of lifetime savings all Gone. Over $170K in savings Gone.
No One to drive me to the biopsy appointment...no one :-(
Church member all my life. Love and Trust in Jesus Christ.
Yes I am still here for a purpose. I am still here for some reason.
Thank you for writing this blog. I will save it as reference to our survivorship.
We are here for each other.
Please Remember That someone in this world is praying for YOU!
and i u ......remember u are here for a purpose ......use your quiet moments and find out what it is......u have fought for life now do what u r to do!
Vous avez de bons points il, c'est pourquoi j'aime toujours verifier votre blog, Il semble que vous etes un expert dans ce domaine. maintenir le bon travail, Mon ami recommander votre blog.
Mon francais n'est pas tres bon, je suis de l'Allemagne.
Mon blog:
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