As I now prepare myself for the surgery to put the implants in and take out the expanders, I find all kinds of things running through my mind...why am I listening to everyone and putting myself through such pain and expense ? Do I know how long I'm going to last ? As I focus on my breast will the colon come back ? Why is it there are so many things for breast cancer? There is a breast cancer month, there is a run, a walk every country is so consumed with breast cancer how come there is no colon cancer anything?????? The American Cancer Society estimates that more than 230,000 women are diagnosed with breast cancer each year. Nearly 40,000 of those women die. Need to check the stats on colon cancer
They even have drugs with minimal side effects for breast cancer...my one round of colon cancer chemo nearly killed me......now I'm being offered a treatment called Arimidex and everybody who has taken it says I must do it as it works and no one has told me they have had any side effects for 2 years or 5 years..really?
I just watched a friend eat curry crab and resisted the urge..does this mean I will eat lettuce leaves for the rest of my life..and not just any lettuce leaf as iceberg has no nutrients so romaine lettuce ,broccoli spinach..good green stuff is that my meal and drink of choice from now on?
As these thoughts run through my mind I realize I'm really tired......33 years is a long time.....extremely tired of Mr Cancer, all forms of him..maybe I've been too welcoming over the years why he thinks he can come visiting anytime...... he thinks we are friends!
I need to get serious and say no you are not welcome here anymore.....
5 comments:
My prayers are with u.In life we question a lot of things, we offend ask why me, but God knows best. We who have illness that can't be explained by man will smile at the good days and frown at the bad ones. But its through the strength of Jesus Christ we offend get the answer. I love you my friend.
I have been following your blog and I think you are an extremely strong and gracious lady. I am sorry to hear about all your struggles with cancer and I wish you a full recovery and the best of health. Just keep thinking that it is possible.
I was on Arimidex. I have had lots of side effects. Not to put you off, it's up to you. I am on nothing from the medical profession at the moment.
BTW, the chemotherapy I had for bc was far from mild. It was very brutal to say the least. Admittedly, I was given high doses to save my life I was told. I was lucky it did not kill me! I however, like you, do not put all my hopes in the medical profession. It is your life not theirs.
I have not seen you mention this link, but I find it very useful http://www.canceractive.com/
Walk good - with God's blessing - Always!
Pat - you're tired and questioning, but don't give up. Easier said than done, I know, and all the encouragements sound inadequate and trite. Can others who haven't had your experiences really relate to what you're going through? But truly, take it a day at a time, and listen to others (including your doctors), but mainly listen to yourself - your mind, your spirit, and your body. I do believe that God guides us, and the trick is to distinguish His voice and His signals among the myriad that we hear and receive. Not easy either - is it that "gut feeling"? Is it the certainty that you may have one day when you wake up that this is the way to go? Is it when several things just fall into place and make certain actions easy - or vice versa? We're "in life" and no-one ever said it would be easy... Walk good.
Wow!, I can't even begin to imagine what you have been through, you truly are a remarkable woman. I remember your salon on HWT road and the hair cuts you gave me, you are a talented woman, I will pray for you and your family..stay strong however difficult it may be..blessings
Pat my prayers are with you. I am writing to you, but i am very weak. Not weak because on my lymphoma, but the abuse handed down to me by my friend of 31years after been diagnose with cancer.
The Lord has been so great, and I know he watches over you during your rough times.He protects us during this time and this is why we are here today so we can share with others our struggles and if only we put our trust and faith in the Lord he will guide and protect us. Be strong and God be with you.
I Love You Pat.
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