MARRIAGE

When looking for a spouse RULE ONE IS if it's not right going in , it is going to be worse coming out. Too many people think once they get married things will change. It will change but not for the better...........
I got married for the first time at 21, even now i wonder why , but i think it was to get out of my parent's house. Being an adoption i knew they didn`t want me to leave and i felt i would be disrespecting if i moved into an apt. Remember in Jamaica in the late 60`s, early 70`s apts. were a new phenomenon. So i got married.....That was a sham but a beautiful child came from it so i give thanks..... a little battered and bruised but a whole lot smarter, one always has to learn the lesson to move on........
Spouse number 2 came along , a totally different person from husband number 1 although being born 2 days apart in the same year. This one lasted much longer but again we split.
What it pointed to was ME, and going into marriage for all the wrong reasons. Once i came to the realization that it had nothing to do with them, it was me and only me, I stopped playing the blame game and started my long lesson of trying to work on myself.
It hasn`t been easy but it certainly has been interesting as we learn daily, monthly, yearly, backslide and climb up again.
Nine out of ten of us marry for the wedding and not the marriage.......marriage is hard work, it has its ups and its downs.....It is boring and sometimes it's interesting but what it is is comfortable....U know u are going to have someone to shoot the breeze with for a long time if we last though the boredom and the traumas and the stress and the tears.
My aunt always used to tell me "look at us now, suppose i had left him when we were young i couldn`t have known we were going to live this long?".....he left her by dying at 86, but he had run road in his younger days and she had waited on him to come home... come home he did and they had a wonderful life together so she couldn`t understand why we young women couldn`t be more patient...I guess we wanted it all, all of the time, not some of the time.........